Food Lion Rant

I do not work at Food Lion and I am not posting this on behalf of anyone in particular that works there.

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Imagine going into your local grocery store.  You pass through the automatic doors and pass by the registers into the produce section.  You hear today top twenty playing on the speakers above, the sound of buggies being pushed in various directions, and the noise of children.  You snake through the aisles and select your much needed victuals.  You then proceed to check out.  You hear the children again…then again…and again?  Wait?  The children you are hearing are laughing…the same way, every 2 minutes or so.  It is then you realize that this sound is not originating from young human beings in the store, but is instead coming from the monitor of the coupon machine near the registers.

You may become mildly annoyed.  You may think “how obnoxious!”  But then you get your receipt and you get to leave.  What a relief!  But not for the poor cashiers working 8 hours.  8 hours?  That’s 480 minutes.  If that ad on the coupon machine plays around once every 2 minutes this means the cashiers have to hear the same child’s laugh approximately 240 times a shift.  Imagine having to hear a hearty and obnoxious “ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,” bellowing from child’s mouth 240 times within an 8 hour period.  It’d be enough to drive most us insane.

Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t hate children.  I don’t hate children’s laughter.  But even the most loving mother or father wouldn’t want to hear their own child’s laugh on repeat for 8 hours.  Most children vary the noises they make through the day–presumably to break the monotony.  No child ever laughs the same exact way every 2 minutes for 8 hours.  No one should be subjected to this sort of torture.  It should be against the Geneva convention.  The only thing I can think of is that this must be some sick and twisted way for Food Lion to test the loyalty of its cashiers.  If this is so, then I think whoever placed that coupon machine in the stores should be brought up on crimes against humanity.  It should also be noted that I have never once gotten coupons from that device.

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